I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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