if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize
