so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
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