he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
