I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
How does one acquire holy water?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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