I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
