Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
