how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
