Your mouth is God's brothel.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
