So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize