Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
