My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize