if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
