He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
