when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
