Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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