Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
