I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Be still, my beating vagina.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
