How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
