Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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