hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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