I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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