Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
