Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
