oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Randomize
