marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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