She went from zero to smokin in five shots
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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