So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
