doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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