What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
