worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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