I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
