They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
