I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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