Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
