Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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