you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
