the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
