Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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