dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I forgot wine drunk hurts
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
