it was like fucking gandolphs beard
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Your cock deserves a montage
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
