so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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