Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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