He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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