my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
