i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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