When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
