I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
