its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
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