White coat. Heels.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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