Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
