my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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