Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
