i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
