So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
