You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
