I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
