I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
