he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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