Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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