I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
