found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
