You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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